Countdown to Armageddon: 16 days to go

OK, I was looking for an inconspicuous way to get back to doing this thing, and I may have found it. You're probably wondering, "Gee, Kevin, what exactly are you referring to when you say 'Armageddon'?" No, I'm not referring to when the world explodes because the Democrats took control of Congress again. I am, however, referring to the day when the world will explode because the greatest rivalry in all of sports will cause the universe to collapse upon itself from all the inflated hype over, yes, that's right, the EPIC SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATENESS, THE MICHIGAN VERSUS OHIO STATE FOOTBALL GAME ON THE EIGHTEENTH DAY OF THE ELEVENTH MONTH IN THE YEAR TWO THOUSAND AND SIX, ANNO DOMINI.
The sports media has been pointing to it for weeks, after both teams got through the difficult parts of their schedules unscathed. Well I'm here to guide you through the madness, as only a hardcore Michigan fan such as myself can do: completely biased, vulgar, and without mercy. The hypemachine was cranked a bit further in the last few days, so let's do a recap:

--ESPN College Gameday analyst and failed former Ohio State quarterback Kirk Herbstreit, who has a radio show down in Columbus, Ohio, during a show this week, called Michigan fans "soft" because they left the NORTHWESTERN game early. First, only the pussies left, Kirk. That means old people, women, small children, sorority girls, queers, fags, twinks, nerds, rich people, drunk students, sober students who were dressed inappropriately. I somehow think the crow would have stuck it out had we been playing your team, Kirk. Yes, it was a bit uncomfortable to have to keep my feet from falling off from time to time, but I assure you the fans who count, the ones who are resisting the skyboxes, will prove you wrong any day of the week. He then called one of our star players, Steve Breaston, "useless," just because he's had a few off games the last few weeks. Gee, I guess the guy who had more than 300 all-purpose yards in the 2004 Rose Bowl is indeed useless. I mean, come on, if by useless you mean he actually catches balls, doesn't fumble, and is a team player, then I guess that's useless. *Note: Take your star all-purpose player, Teddy Ginn, Jr., and use the opposites of all those descriptions I just listed -- Now that's useless!
Furthermore, tonight on the Daily Show (they're doing a week of shows from Ohio for election coverage, from the campus of Ohio State) there was a brief Michigan-Ohio State moment. One of the reporters, Rob Riggle, was dressed in Michigan garb, and he said "Well, Jon, everywhere I went this week, I was greeted with hisses and general disrespect; Is there something wrong with me?" Jon Stewart replied, "No, Rob, there's not." And he said "See! I told you motherfuckers I was alright! Wooooo! Blue's in the house! YAAA!" Stewart's punchline was even better. He said, "I swear, this Michigan-Ohio State thing is like Shiites and Sunnis, it's unbelievable. 'We are red, they are blue, we must all DIE'!!". Ahhh, that made me laugh soooo much.